Life On Purpose

Really, again? January 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — zoecline @ 6:54 pm

I know those of you who know me at all know I was shocked when I found out we are expecting our third precious child in July. But what you may not really know about me is that I really dislike pregnancy, and I really don’t have any totally valid reasons. I hate how my neck and collar bone meld into one fluid filled item, how neither regular clothes nor maternity clothes flatter, the way I have 2 pairs of shoes out of 30 that are comfortable and can contain the swollen stumps called feet at the end of my legs, and how I struggle to paint my toenails. I’m so lucky because I don’t throw up, pass out or get bed bound. But still yet, I have a hard time enjoying this state of being.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I like about it too-such as feeling baby move and going to the all-exciting 18 week ultrasound. I feel guilty for not liking it more.

I am determined that, since I am finally past the initial shock, it’s time to enjoy the bump. All the dislikes won’t go away, but this child is a gift. After all, there are only 9 months to enjoy motherhood that don’t involve sleepless nights, feeding woes, blowout diapers and seemingly endless bouts of crying. What’s not to like?!

 

Not the Mama January 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — zoecline @ 7:59 pm

I wasn’t born a naturally nurturing person. Just this morning I was praying about this. It really concerns me, like, what in the world were You thinking, Lord, giving ME three children? I think God just probably gets a lot of laughs out of seeing me muddle my way through motherhood. More seriously, though, I wonder why, of all the people He could have blessed with fertility, why me? I am not sweet, nurturing, and I never liked babysitting. Babies just never really interested me. I am a free, independent, entrepreneurial, self sufficient type.

That’s it. Self sufficient, the one quality God made in me to place me in a state of complete neediness for His grace. He loves it. All the unknowns and the things that I am unnaturally inclined to do bring me to the cross. I find myself daily struggling with who I am in the flesh versus the vision God has laid on my heart to become. I find myself yelling at the kids, prattling on about things they are too young to comprehend, grabbing their little arms in frustration. Then I find myself grieved by my sin. Nothing has ever revealed my shortcomings like being a mom.

Yet He chose me. Me. By human standards I am a poor candidate for Mama. After all, I’m not even the mommy type. The fact alone that God chose me leads me to repentance. I am so humbled. I owe Him my life. It’s all I have to give.

Truthfully, it’s me who is being changed. It is my life that is being transformed and changed. The future of my children is in my hands. If I don’t change, how can I expect them to? It’s not ever going to be perfect, and I’m never going to be totally satisfied with my parenting. But I trust the God who is unchanging to provide grace for the missteps and sufficiency for the shortcomings. I wasn’t born to be a mama. I was saved to be Eliana, Ethan and baby #3’s Mama.

 

Humbled January 11, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — zoecline @ 12:59 pm

Recently my husband was asked to be a deacon at our church. Now this role entails ministering to families at our church and supporting members in their times of need. As Lee was ordained, each deacon and pastor prayed over us. I was so humbled by the love poured out and the prayers that were said over us. How in the world do these people trust us to fill this role? We are just ordinary people who are imperfect. I am quick to believe God can make others able and equip them to do many things, but now it’s us. We’re up. Ready or not. This is where the rubber meets the road. Lord, give us the tools and the wisdom we need to serve this amazing church well. We are so unworthy of such trust, but God You are worthy of all we have and all we are. We trust You to make us able.

 

Food for Thought January 10, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — zoecline @ 1:09 am

I have always wanted to keep a blog, but have never taken the time to do it. Writing the first post feels awkward, so let’s just get on with it.

My husband and I watched the popular documentary Forks Over Knives yesterday, which presents the argument that a plant based diet can cure disease and provide a long, healthy life. I have to admit, I was somewhat convinced. The evidence was compelling, but after reading some reviews of it, I find it hard to totally accept. Lee and I have decided, however, that we will reduce the processed and refined foods in our diet, along with less animal products. Neither of us wants to be diabetic or riddled with heart disease. We want to enjoy our life with our children and have the ability to serve others well into old age. A change must occur. Our cabinets, like most Americans, are filled with prepackaged convenience foods and our refrigerator is stocked with dairy, eggs, and bacon. We are definitely eating too many processed foods and not nearly enough whole foods. So the verdict is we are going to a primarily vegetarian diet with reduced intake of dairy, eggs, and processed food. All in the name of a high quality life and longevity. I think it will be worth it, but time will tell.

If you haven’t seen it, I think it’s worth your time. We got it on instant Netflix. Enjoy!